Monday, October 26th, 2015
If you and your new partner are expecting, your children may feel threatened as they may think this will effect the relationship they have with you. That is perfectly understandable on their part. They worry that another child, especially a baby, will mean that you?ll love them less and have less time for them. What you have to do, and keep on doing, is to prove to them that?s not true.
It is crucial to remember not to ‘put off’ telling your children that you are expecting. Telling them earlier, gives them more time to become used to the idea. However, it is important to wait until the three months is complete, with its danger of miscarriage – having to explain pregnancy then miscarriage can be one step too many for some.
Make sure you reinforce the idea that you will love them and they’re always going to be important. This may involve a brief explanation of the facts of life, depending on the ages of your child/children. Continuously tell them you want them involved with the baby, help make this about them as oppose to just yourself.
If you’re the father, there’s no reason for you to change what you do when you have your children with you. However, if you’re the mother, it is best to plan activities within the family home. Keep involving them in the pregnancy ? touching the bump when the baby’s kicking for instance. Enjoy the time you have with your children, keep them secure in your affections and as part of the family.
Once the baby’s home, bring your kids over to see him/her. This can be a hard time for you, juggling the demands of a baby and to see and enjoy your other children. However, this is also the most crucial time. Taking time away from your kids for the baby can make them believe the baby is more important than they are. Again, keep them involved with the baby; give them small tasks to help, so they feel an attachment. Most vitally, never treat the baby as more important than your kids. Equality is the key. If you give your children as much attention as you did before, and continue to do so, you?ll successfully build a strong extended family.