Signs or indicators of Parental Alienation

Wednesday, October 21st, 2015

A number of signs or indicators of alienation can be identified. However, it is important to realise that not all these signs appear in all cases. There has been a considerable amount of research that indicates the harm that is done to children who are alienated against a parent. Research has also shown that when the child becomes an adult, they can suffer retrospectively.

Here are a number of signs some of which interact with others and should be viewed in combination as a oppose to isolation:

• Lack of independent thinking from the child imitating the alienator?s thoughts and feelings.
• Destroying mail or even presents from the alienated parent.
• The alienating parent tends to seek to curtail all communication between the child and the alienated parent.
• The alienated parent is seen as the scapegoat. He or she is blamed for everything that has gone wrong with the child. There is no sense of ambivalence.
• The child calls the alienated parent a liar and other abusive names similar to the alienating parent.
• The child insults, shows disrespect, and humiliates the alienated parent often on front of the alienator.
• Alienated parents are viewed as being despicable, faulty and deserving of being rejected permanently.
• Parents who alienate children are seducing the child emotionally and will continue to do this while in control of the child, yet they deny that they are doing anything but encouraging the child to make contact with the alienated parent.
• The child is made to feel guilty for any love shown towards the alienated parent. The child will deny any involvement with the alienated parent, fearful of what the alienator would do to him or her.
• The child fears rejection by the programmer in case he or she wishes to say good thing about the alienated parent or wishing to be with him or her.
• The child is owned, controlled, and indoctrinated by the alienating parent. That parent is viewed as all good, all wise, and all powerful by the child who becomes dependent, manipulated by them. There is never questioning that what the parent says or does is always right.
• The child tends to paraphrase statements used by the alienating parent. The words used are often untypical of words likely to be used by a child.
• The child suffers from paranoia (hatred) inculcated by the alienating parent who promotes attitudes, intentions, and behaviours of a negative nature to the alienated parent.
• The child will speak about exaggerated or contrived abuse that has been experienced from the alienated parent.
• Children who are alienated no longer know truth from lies.
• The child who is alienated against the parent will often be alienated against the parent?s family also.
• The alienator will also poison the child against the therapist unless the therapist supports the alienator. Hence the therapist is seen as an enemy in the same light as the alienated parent.
• It is not what the alienator says but how it is said. For example when telling a child ?father would like to take you out,? it can be said with joy and enthusiasm indicating positive expectations or it can be said with venom indicating negative feelings. This is what is predominantly communicated to the child rather than the verbal message.

Source: PA