Impact on absent fathers in the family home

Thursday, April 30th, 2015

‘How absence of a loving father can wreck a child’s life: New study shows relationship with both parents is crucial.’

Daily Mail published an article that illustrated how having a loving father within children’s lives is highly important. Researcher Professor Ronald Rohner concluded that fatherly love is just as important as a mother’s love and, it is key to for healthy child development. It seems as though as time has gone by, we have developed an assumption that motherly love is far more important than the fathers. However:

‘In the US, Great Britain and Europe, we have assumed for the past 300 years that all children need for normal healthy development is a loving relationship with their mother. And that dads are there as support for the mother and to support the  family financially but are not required for the healthy development of the children. But that belief is fundamentally wrong. We have to start getting away from that idea and realise the dad?s influence is as great, and sometimes greater, than the mother?s.?

Therefore, there needs to be more awareness of this issue along with support to all fathers. If the mother gains custody, it is vital that the loving father is involved in their child’s life as this can have an effect on the child’s life. If the child feels ‘rejected’ within their childhood, it has been reported that they are more likely to anxious and insecure as well as hostile and aggressive. If the child does not understand the reason as to why their father is no longer in the family home or has never been, they may start to feel like this in the future. Once a child thinks they are unloved this can also lead to anger and resentment can lead to them closing themselves off emotionally in an attempt to protect themselves from further hurt.

Professor Ronald Rohner also added that a fathers’ input is vital for behaviour within a child. Without the impact of a father it can influence if a child later drinks to excess, takes drugs or suffers mental health problems.

Norman Wells, of the Family Education Trust, said: ?This study underlines the importance of intact and stable families where both the father and the mother are committed to bringing up their children together.’

•  Does the child’s voice mean anything?

Yes, I think it means a great deal. Although the child may be young, they can still understand their feelings and their needs to an extent. In turn, if a child is missing their father in the family home, they should be able to see and be with them on a regular basis.

• How can this issue be resolved?

Yes, but in due course. It won’t be easy but, if more father’s are committed, there can be a change in the perception of how the presence of a father can make a big difference.

It is important to understand that the presence of two loving parents is better than one. Parents need to put the child first and sacrifice their only feelings. KNBP encourage shared parenting and if both parents can come to an agreement, this will help the child later on in life.