7 tips to help you cope with divorce/separation

Monday, September 7th, 2015

Divorce can cause stress and depression. It can affect your sleep, health and lifestyle. However, there are seven crucial steps for coping.

1. Accept the reality of your situation

It is a good idea to ask yourself questions about what happened. Once you have asked yourself questions, try to undertstand what went on beneath the surface. For example, if the other person had an affair, try to understand what led them to do that. Similarly, if you grew apart, think about how you’ve changed since you first met.

2. Manage your emotions

When going through a divorce, you can feel mixed emotions. Some of the common emotions people experience during a divorce are grief, fear, anger, resentment, doubt, regret and guilt. If you’re at the early stages of divorce, it is a good idea to gain any help and support from your family and friends. Give yourself time and space to help cope with the situation.

3. Develop strategies for personal growth

Identify what your strengths and weaknesses are and develop an action plan. The action plan you devise will involve setting goals. For example, if you know you’ll struggle with loneliness, decide how you will deal with this. This will build your self-esteem and help you manage your feelings, such as missing someone.

4. Let friends and family help

If you think about who are already there for you, you can identify a support network. Although you need to recognise that some friends or family may say ‘I told you it would never work out’, therefore you need to think about specific relationships you want to strengthen. If a friend or family member have been through a divorce, let them in and share your feelings as they may have went through what you are going through.

5. Deal with money and practical matters

Think about your financial and practical resources and challenges. You could try to make money during the free time you have, or how to release some of the equity in your house. Try to keep the cost of food shopping low and search for the best deals. Cooking healthy and low cost meals for your children will help your money go a long way.

6. Communicate effectively with your ex

This can cause a lot of stress and upset. However, when children are involved, learning to communiate effectively is very important. Try to manage your emotions such as anger and upset, this will help entering into conversations with a clear idea of what you want to achieve without getting drawn into old arguments.

7. Set goals for the future

Divorce can be painful and can cause anger and upset, however it is important to think positively as negative thoughts lead to negative outlooks. It is important to understand that divorce can be an opportunity for positive change. If you and your ex-partner are happier, this means the children can lead a better life without losing family stability. It is a time to compromise as this will help yours and your children’s future.

Source: NHS